Alright, alright, alright.. you're probably wondering, "How can innocent girls selling cookies possibly be a pyramid scheme?" A couple of days ago, I saw some Girl Scouts selling cookies outside my dorm and instantly caved.. but then it got me thinking.
"But it's a Non-Profit!!"
Can anything be a non-profit? According to The U.S. Chamber of Commerce, "To qualify as a nonprofit, your business must serve the public good in some way. Nonprofits do not distribute profit to anything other than furthering the advancement of the organization."
Technically, anything can be a non-profit if it benefits the public (which is quite broad), and the money earned is poured back into the organization. Salaries fall under this bubble.
Girl Scouts CEO = Mastermind
Girl Scouts is advertised as a non-profit for the purpose of "helping all girls develop the confidence, determination, and skills needed to thrive in today's world."
It's a pyramid scheme, marketed as "educational" and "empowering girls", and is quite literally genius.
Girl Scouts of the USA claims all profits are reinvested into the organization to "help fund activities and experiences for the girls." And sure, some of that money goes into summer camps, leadership programs, and fun patches that say things like "Cookie Boss." But a significant chunk? That’s padding the salaries of executives sitting in offices, probably not selling cookies.
The CEO of Girl Scouts, Bonnie Barczykowski, made "$785,000 in 2023," according to CNN.
The adorable, wide-eyed little entrepreneurs standing outside Target, flashing their bright sashes, loaded up with badges, asking you if you want to buy a box of Thin Mints aren’t getting commission. They’re not getting paid hourly. They’re out there in the cold, hustling, while someone at the top—the CEO, board members, executives—rakes in six figures.
Child Labor or Business Training?
You get millions of young girls to work for free under the guise of "teaching them life skills," while making them feel empowered. It’s capitalism disguised as a confidence-building exercise.
Now, technically, it’s not child labor because the kids choose to do it (with some very persuasive nudging from their parents and troop leaders). And sure, they might learn about sales, persuasion, and supply chain management, but at the end of the day—these girls don’t get actual money for their hard work.
Instead, they get experience. And experience is… nice? I too, was a Girl Scout, and it was fun feeling like I was contributing to the economy.. but try paying for college tuition with a “Top Cookie Seller” badge.
So.. Are We Contributing to the Pyramid Scheme?
Look, at the end of the day, Thin Mints smack. We all know this. And if a little girl asks me to buy a box, I’m probably going to say yes.
But the next time you see a Girl Scout troop grinding away in front of a grocery store, just remember: They’re basically unpaid interns for a multi-million-dollar cookie empire.
And that, my friends, is business genius.
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